Study Shows Gasson 2 To 3 Inches Shorter In Colder Months

HIGGINS HALL — According to the results of a new study released by the Biology department late last week, Gasson Hall is two to three inches shorter during colder months.

“After analyzing years of data collected by a dedicated team of research scientists, our hard work has finally paid off, and we’re absolutely ecstatic to release our findings to the general public,” said the director of the study, Dr. Richard Johnson. “As we had hypothesized at the beginning of the study, Gasson actually is about two to three inches shorter in the colder months of the calendar year.”

While the exact reason for the wintertime decrease in height has yet to be determined, the research firm was quick to point out the famed hall has “nothing to be ashamed of.”

“It’s completely natural for a structure such as Gasson Hall to experience this sort of occurrence in the colder months, especially in the climate of Chestnut Hill,” said research fellow, Peter Cox.

“Just because it’s a few inches shorter starting around October doesn’t mean it can’t perform at its absolute best,” said Claire-Leigh Penisjoke (MCAS ‘19), an undergraduate research assistant in the lab. “I mean, I’m sure most visiting prospective students and parents don’t even notice the difference when taking a photo in front of the building after their campus tours.”

At press time, lead scientists for the project were beginning new research towards creating a new drug to ensure older buildings on campuses nationwide could maintain their stature despite their age and durability issues.

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