Girl Is Pregnant, According To Spanish Class Oral Exam
SchoolStudent LifeWTF September 23, 2024 The New England Classic

STOKES HALL — Junior Emm Barazado (MCAS ’26) revealed she is with child, according to her Elementary Spanish II oral exam.
On her way up to the projector to begin her presentation, titled “Información Sobre Mi Vida,” Barazado tripped over the computer wire and fell on her face, exclaiming “Lo siento–estoy embarazada!”
The Classic caught up with Barazado’s classmate, Connie Traceptive (MCAS ’26) after the incident.
“I saw Emm last Saturday in line at Cityside. She kept talking about how horny she was, so I’m glad she got dicked down. Kind of weird to say that to someone you only know in the context of Spanish class, but, hey, who am I to judge–I’m all for feminism and sexual liberation! It’s sooooo Sex and the City,” said Traceptive. “Alas, it seems she forgot to use protection. Guess she didn’t listen to me when I said, ‘Don’t be silly wrap your willy!’ as they were leaving the bar.
Barazado was seen with a dewy, jovial glow about her as she left Stokes Hall, a clear sign of pregnancy and definitely not the Drunk Elephant bronzing drops she steals from her roommate sometimes when she feels pale.
The Classic was able to get an exclusive interview with Barazado. She had to reschedule the initial interview, due to nausea. The Classic was unable to confirm if this was due to morning sickness or from too many green tea shots the night prior.
During the interview, Barazado seemed confused on many questions, like “Who is the father?”, to which she replied, “My dad? His name is Burt. Don’t know how that is relevant in this article. I just ate shit in front of my class crush, almost flashed my professor, and you’re asking me about my dad??? You guys should be the embarrassed ones.”
The Classic was even more confused when Barazado yawned, then said, “Estoy casada–lo siento.” She did not provide details of her wedding.
At press time, Barazado was seen buying tampons–sus.