Uhmm, Okay? Freshman Just Introduced Himself As A “Pee-Scholar”
CONNELL RECREATION CENTER — What would have been a casual game of pick-up basketball was derailed last Thursday when one of the first-year players led with a puzzling remark. As the freshmen made small talk while waiting for a court to open, one casually referred to himself as something called a “Pee-Scholar.”
According to Gregor Konstantinopoulos (MCAS ’25), he was an “ED admit” who got a full ride to Boston College on account of his “test scores.” Even more shocking, Konstantinopoulos informed his teammates that he was just one of twenty other Pee-Scholars in the class of 2025.
“This dude didn’t even hesitate,” said Devon Marcolo (LSEHD ’25). “Not five minutes into knowing this guy and he’s already tellin’ me he’s majoring in Piss Studies with a minor in Whiz.”
When asked to elaborate on what he does as a Pee-Scholar, Konstantinopoulos explained that he was simply “happy to be in a community of fellow intellectuals” who share his “academic interests.” Being a Pee-Scholar is more of a “calling,” said Konstantinopoulos — “The pee chooses you, I guess.”
At press time, members of the opposing team were seen taunting Konstantinopoulos with the universal gesture for “I gotta go potty” every time he tried to make a lay-up.