Jack Dunn Excitedly Preparing For “Spotlight 2”

LAKE STREET — Following a series of public relations gaffes and scandals over the course of the 2020–21 academic year, Jack Dunn, local doormat and Grand Poohbah of Boston College communications, is no stranger to the silver screen. His credits include such acclaimed films as Spotlight (2016), as well as Spotlight (2016). The career thespian would not have been rash to think his involvement with the franchise was over — until he received a call from fellow thespian Mark Ruffalo, asking about his interest in a sequel.

 “And I was just like, ‘Ahh!” said Dunn, who only recently cut his bangs. “Like, I was like, ‘Uhh, hello,’ and he was all like ‘You’re not gonna believe what I’m about to ask you,’ and I was like ‘Fuck you! I love you. Literally I can handle it,’ and he was like ‘You’re crazy bitch I love you.’”

In just three minutes, Ruffalo had successfully convinced Dunn to reprise his breakout role, once again portraying a slightly fictionalized version of himself in Spotlight: The Squeakquel.

Few details on the upcoming feature have been forthcoming, but tips suggest production is slated to begin no later than September 2021. Reports say Dunn will continue in his capacity as University spokesman during filming, though he will be naming a proxy to act in his stead on days he is needed on set. Likely candidates include David Quigley, Steve Bannon, Po from the Teletubbies, Stinky, Honky, Dopey, Bashful, and Cartman from The South Park.

Speculation over whether the project had been green-lit began in September 2020, when the University was under intense scrutiny for the implementation of its Covid-19 procedures. Since then, a number of further stories have broken which bring the reputation of the University and its Jesuit, Catholic roots into question, prompting the studio to officially request a sequel to the 2016 Best Picture Winner.

At press time, Dunn was seen editing his audition reel, asking whether segments of his disastrous Globe interview would suffice. 

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