Seven Duos We Think Should Compete In The Doubles Luge And Why

THE COUCH IN YOUR WALSH EIGHT-MAN — As the Winter Olympics reach full swing, and countless midterm study opportunities are squandered by sports you didn’t know existed last week, our staff at The New England Classic have had our hearts captured by one specific event. 

The doubles luge is an event that has been shocking Olympic spectators since 1964, as they wonder anatomically what happens when you stack two adults on a piece of metal and send them barrelling down an ice track at 90 miles per hour.

With high speed, high risk, high viewership, and plenty of speculation on the mechanics of the event, we could not think of a better event to insert ourselves into. Therefore, the Classic would like to present our comprehensive list of duos we think would excel at this event in 2030.

(A Note From the Editor: while we understand that the top luger is meant to navigate and the bottom luger is meant to provide power and drive, this was only part of the puzzle in determining the positioning of our duos.)

1. Father Leahy (top) and Father Butler (bottom)
2. Club Club Lacrosse (top) and Club Lacrosse (bottom)
3. Baldwin (top) and Paws (bottom)
4. The Transfer Portal (top) and Bill O’Brien (bottom)
5. Chicken (top) and Two Sides (bottom)
6. Saweetie (top) and Swae Lee (bottom)
7. Sexual Chocolate (top) and BC Full Swing (bottom)

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