Micropipette Demonstration Starting To Sound Suspiciously Like Bad Sex
HIGGINS 380 — Innuendo was abound last Friday morning during a practical demonstration in Dr. Awk’s Investigations in Microbiology lab. Shortly after the tutorial began, students reportedly started to sense a strong resemblance between the micropipette demonstration and the uncomfortable sounds of really bad sex.
“The professor was trying to fill an electrophoresis gel and was just like, ‘Can you see if it went in there?’” said Emma Barrist, a sophomore biology major. “And as if that wasn’t enough, then he goes, ‘You just have to push gently and then release after the second stop, even though I can never tell if it’s all the way in.’”
While most in attendance strained to maintain their composure, certain students became visibly uneasy. Hugh Virgin, a junior in the department, was reportedly seen sweating from his brow as he turned a faint shade of green.
“The TA said not to blow out the last drop, and I was like, ‘Oh, um, okay, I didn’t even know that blowing was in the cards,’” said Virgin following the event. “We didn’t get to go to class in person last year so I feel like I really missed out on some very important experiences, which is why I don’t know how to do anything.”
As the demonstration continued, the noises emanating from the front lab desk became increasingly heinous.
“At first it was like, ‘Eee-err, eee-err, ee-err-ee-err, squoop, shoomp shoomp,’” said Barrist. “Then it was all like, ‘phhhhhhh phh click-click,’ before the professor went ‘Uhh oops, my bad, let me try that again.’”
At press time, the students were seen looking for boxes of sterile tips to cover the ends of their pipettes.