Student Body To Decide Who Gets To Add ‘UGBC President’ To Their Resume

CHESTNUT HILL — Tension on campus has been palpable this week as the student body prepares for yet another heated UGBC election. After an intense series of debates, knocking on doors, and making Facebook profile picture frames, Thursday’s election will determine just which candidate will have the distinct honor and responsibility of putting “UGBC President” on their resume.

A recent poll conducted by The New England Classic showed that voters are essentially split between the two teams, which have incredibly different platforms and are each taking a different approach to this high-stakes race. The results of a focus group, also conducted by The Classic, indicated that students are slightly more likely to vote for whichever candidate they think needs the accolade to pad out their law school applications.

“I heard that one of the candidates only has a 3.2, so I’m thinking of voting for them, just to lend a helping hand,” said one junior who asked to remain anonymous. “But I also heard that the other candidate doesn’t have any family connections in the consulting industry, so they may need my vote even more. At this point, I guess I’m still undecided.”

At press time, the UGBC Election Committee had gathered in Gasson 100 for its final consultations, looking over the candidates’ extracurriculars and leadership positions to determine who was the most in need of a little boost in the after-hours ballot box.

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