OL Under Impression He’s “The Hot One”
THOMAS MORE APARTMENTS — Adjusting his gold-plated name tag from his reflection in the Robsham window, orientation leader Brayden McPatrick confirmed his self-appointed place in the OL hierarchy.
“From the very beginning of training, the First Year Experience staff emphasized that we were selected to represent the BC community as a whole,” said McPatrick. “Of course they never mentioned which role each of us played, but as I look around the room at the 42 other leaders, it’s become pretty clear that I’m supposed to be ‘The Hot One.’”
Anna McKinsey, Assistant Director of FYE, seemed to cast doubt on McPatrick’s assertion.
“We definitely aim to select a group of students who we feel represent the student body,” said McKinsey. “But as for Brayden, honestly we just needed a male arts and sciences student from the south, and he fit all of those.”
When asked for a response, McPatrick countered, “She can say all that, but I see the way the moms from Jersey look at me. I think we all know why I’m here.”
At press time, the girls of Group 13, Session 6 reported that Brayden didn’t even make their Top Five.