ResLife Clerical Error Gives One Lucky Freshman Housing In Meatball Obsession Stand
LOWER CAMPUS — As many Boston College freshmen continue their frantic social scramble to secure housing for next year, one lucky student will be living somewhere a little more unique than the typical sophomore housing options, thanks to a clerical error by an entry-level ResLife employee. Vito Anthony Bertucci, Jr. (MCAS ’20) will spend his sophomore year as the first-ever student to live in the famed Meatball Obsession stand outside Corcoran Commons.
When asked about his unusual housing placement, Bertucci Jr. responded with a firm, “Now that’s a spicy residence-a-hall!” In this exclusive interview, he added that he feels lucky to be on Lower, since “you can’t beat the location,” and noted that he looks forward to the romantic benefits that may accompany his placement in the defunct meatball stand. “Chicks dig meatballs,” said the freshman, quite possibly alluding to his genitals.
Not much is known about the interior of the stand, but sources tell us that if Grandma didn’t cook with it, you sure as shit won’t find it in there. Whether you’ll be relegated to Vandy, 90, or Coro come next fall, Bertucci Jr. says that you shouldn’t be surprised to see the once-vacant meat shack filled wall to wall with sweaty sophomores and cheap vodka.