Undergraduate Llama Thrilled That He Can Spit Again Following Expiration Of Mask Mandate
Campus CultureCoronavirus February 4, 2022 The New England Classic
MAIN CAMPUS — While much of the student body was excited for Boston College’s temporary mask mandate to expire, one Junior was particularly excited. Al Pakka (CSON ’23) was seen running through the Gasson Quad just after midnight on Tuesday morning, celebrating the end of what he called “the greatest infringement on his rights since he was banned from intramural soccer.”
Pakka’s classmates, however, did not seem so thrilled. “This isn’t about his rights,” said Shep Hurd (MCAS ’23). “He just wants to spit on us again.”
Evidently, Pakka has quite the reputation for projectile launching large swaths of mucus from his mouth, which can often be disruptive during class lectures. A deep dive into the record books revealed Pakka once hit a TA with his spit from the last row of McGuinn 121, a record that still stands today.
Pakka’s roommates expressed relief, though, as during the mandatory masking period he was making up for missed opportunities to spit outside of their room by using their communal floors and walls as phlegm canvas. “We can’t wait to de-slime this place and get back to normal.” said roommate John Meekis (MCAS ’23). “It’s been a real slippery slimy couple of weeks, man.”
