Help! My Boyfriend Wants Me To Wear A Drake Maye Mask During Sex Until The Super Bowl
BostonSexSports February 7, 2026 The New England Classic
WALSH “WALSH 8” 8 — With Super Bowl LX just around the corner, the Classic decided to see how Boston College students have been preparing. In an interview with Pat “Pat Sloveer” Sloveer (CSOM ‘28) and his girlfriend, Pykmeigh Gurrell (CSON ‘29), the couple shared how they have brought Drake Maye into their intimate lives—for the sake of all of New England.
“It all started when he accidentally called me Drake during missionary while the Chargers game was on. I thought it was weird at first but honestly…the better the Pats smash ‘em the more I ‘gasm,” said Gurrell.
With each passing week, Sloveer and Gurrell have upped the game, adding moves they like to call the “two-minute drill” and the “tush push.”
According to an anonymous Walsh Mailroom worker, various packages have arrived for Pat throughout the past couple of weeks, including a Drake Maye mask, a Drake Maye jersey, a Bakemas apron, a large silicone spatula, two helmets, and a brunette wig.
“We first tried wearing the helmet and the Bakemas apron, but once he whipped out that mask, things picked up,” said Gurrell in a private interview.
“Yeah, we totally called an audible for Houston”, said Sloveer, “we thought reverse cowgirl was ball knowledge, but by turning things around I could look that mask directly in the eyes… don’t think Kayshon could’ve done it without us.”
The couple was reportedly “getting nasty like that” at the moment that Bronco’s QB, Bo Nix, broke his ankle in a season-ending injury. From there, taking down the Broncos was “barbecue chicken.”
“After such a successful playoff run, we HAVE to do it for the ‘Bowl,” said Sloveer.
With the fate of a seventh Super Bowl win resting in the balance, we can only hope everyone comes this Sunday. At press time, the couple was spotted buying condoms at Richdale’s while responding to “mickey mouse ahh season” comments with slurs. 
