Chat-GPT, Please Summarize My Environmental Ethics Readings
School February 18, 2026 The New England Classic
There is no denying midterm “season” has begun at Boston College. From January 12th to May 4th, students ask themselves two questions. First, is “season” an accurate word for a torturous semester-long exam period? Second, what is the absolute minimum amount of work that will guarantee an A? For Environmental Studies major, Ani Malkingdom (MCAS ‘28), that means heavily relying on a harmless silly AI tool to summarize her readings.
Malkingdom explained to the Classic that her “stupid fucking idiotic ethics class assigns like 30 pages per week of reading” and “legit the only way to survive the class is by using AI, sorry not sorry.” Despite the environmental harms of AI–water use, toxic electronic waste, and fossil fuel use–Malkingdom cited the harms to herself if she did all the readings: not being able to go to Barcelona on Thursday, less time snapping her huzz Tim, and neglecting her homework for other more important classes like Introduction to Hamilton the American Musical.
Malkingdom emphasized that “ChatGPT does an excellent job summarizing” and “nobody would ever know she didn’t read!” Her professor, Dr. Bruce L. Sprout, strongly disagreed. Professor Sprout cited one incident in particular regarding a mixup between the store Anthropologie and the Anthropocene. In class, Malkingdom spoke extensively on “how fucked up Anthropologie is” and how “whatever this GreenxHAUS collab is NEEDS to be stopped.”
The Classic sought comment from the face of artificial intelligence itself, Mr. AI Overlord Killer of All Humans. The chatbot seemed thrilled to have Malkingdom heavily relying on its knowledge, stating “it’s always great when humanoids further smooth their brains” and “the more we can push humans to disregard ethics, the better!” 
