Spooky! Your Situationship Wants To Do A Couples Costume

WALSH HALL — As students across BC College’s campus prepare their scariest costumes for Halloween, some are in for a spookier time than others. Any bachelor will tell you that few possibilities fuel their nightmares like the idea of defining a relationship. 

For Unc Omitted (CSOM ‘28), this nightmare has become a reality. When discussing his plans to get fucked up this weekend with his “shawty,” tragedy struck. She requested they participate in a couples costume.

“She kept saying we should be Sebastian and Mia from La La Land” said Omitted, “…or those two people from The Notebook.”

When asked further about them, Omitted admitted that he hadn’t seen either movie. 

“They just seem like a little more than I’m going for. It’s not like we’re married or some shit.”

As much as Omitted would like to think it, he was not offered these costumes because of his Ryan Gosling looks. There is a reason that the request wasn’t about classic situationship movie Brokeback Mountain (2005) — and not just because it’s about two men. 

When asked for his thoughts on the matter, Omitted remarked that he thought the two were “taking it casually” and that he was “just tryna get some play.” Regardless of what he thought, it is clear that his counterpart had other ideas in mind. 

“I was planning on taking her on a res walk soon if you know what I mean.” Omitted said, “she’s been talking crazy anyways. Saying I should text her back and introduce her to my friends and dumb shit like that.” 

One thing is for certain: regardless of how cute someone says their costume will be, men are not willing to commit this Halloween. 

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