Holy Kaiju! Democrats Unveil Mecha Luther King Jr. Ahead Of Trump Inauguration

THE NATIONAL MALL— As the impending inauguration of Donald Trump nears, Washington liberals have turned their attention from the ceremony to celebrate national hero Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Coincidentally, Martin Luther King Day and Trump’s inauguration fall on the same day.

This week, the Democrats have unveiled a giant robotic replica of Reverend King dubbed “Mecha Luther King.” When asked about the reason for making such a unique tribute to MLK, New York Senator Chuck Schumer said it was to “honor his legacy and continue fighting for his dream.” This cryptic message has sent the Trump transition team into a frenzy.

In an unscripted press conference at Mar-a-Lago, President-Elect Trump lashed out at MechLK. “Don’t like Mechs, folks. I’ve always said no Mechs and frankly, gundams too. But now the dirty Democrats want to use their army of Mechs-icans against me,” Trump said. In response, House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries pinky-promised not to manually operate the mechanical automaton on January 20th.

Convinced Jeffries’ fingers were crossed behind his back, Trump ramped up talk of countermeasures in an ensuing press conference. “I have sent Don Jr. up to Greenland to speak with the mighty King Ghidorah. Don’t we love King Ghidorah. Stronger than Godzilla. Weak Godzilla. That’s what they call him. Couldn’t even destroy Japan. He only has one head, Ghidorah has three,” Trump ranted to baffled reporters.

While it is unclear what kind of deal will be brokered between the US Government and King Ghidorah, conspiracy theories have gripped the nation about the impending Kaiju battle. In a segment on Fox News, representative Marjorie Taylor Greene swore she saw Senator Elizabeth Warren reciting an ancient incantation to raise Jimmy Carter and an army of zombified voters from the dead.

Along with their recent WWE partnership, Netflix has claimed exclusive streaming rights to the Inauguration Smackdown. FanDuel and other sports books are also now offering odds on the fight with unique props such as Smithsonian Museums destroyed and Supreme Court Justices hospitalized.

At press time, Mecha Luther King’s eyes have begun glowing red and Jimmy Carter’s grave remains untouched.

More Hot Single Sandwiches NEAR YOU:

Records Reveal Boston College Has Paid $0 In Income Tax For 150 Years Warning: This Article Is Rated R Goodbye, Potatoes: BC Dining Gets Rid Of The One Thing Students Like Athletes Exchange Scooters For Motorized Barbie Jeeps