Circle Tavern “Edgar Allan Poe Night” Offers Chains, Wine, And Cement Special
THE CIRCLE TAVERN – Upperclassmen perusing Herrd last week were elated to see an advertisement from the Circle Tavern at the top of their page. Thursday’s “Chains, Wine, and Cement Special” drew students in with promises of giveaways, discounted appetizers, and a sampling of a rare drink known only as “Herrd Juice.” Upperclassmen, including Fortune Atto (MCAS ’22,), flooded to Circle to see what all the fuss was about.
“I’m really excited,” Atto apparently said to his friend, Luke Chesi (MCAS ‘22,) before entering the bar. “I mean, I’m kind of a mixologist myself and I wanna see if this new drink is the real deal. Also, it helps that I’m best friends with the bartender — he doesn’t know it, but we are.”
After getting their IDs checked, Atto and his friends were allegedly shown into the basement by an ominous figure. According to Chesi, the figure had a lot to say about the quality of the special drink.
“Oh yeah, this stuff is good,” the figure reportedly said. “It’s Deep Eddy Lime, Apple Juice, and a little something called Amontillado.” The figure then followed the group down to the basement with a trowel and bucket of what looked like cement in his hands.
As the group proceeded deeper into the basement, Chesi became concerned about the whereabouts of the coveted “Herrd Juice.” When pressed, the ominous figure provided little information.
“He said some bullshit like ‘it’s farther on,’ and when I asked how much farther, he said ‘observe the white web-work which gleams from these cavern walls,’” Chesi said. “I turned back when the dude accidentally dropped a bunch of chains and handcuffs out of his billowing black robes, but Fortune had no problem following him all the way down.”
Chesi noted that he has not seen Atto at all since that fateful night, but has received a number of cryptic text messages over the past few days.
“The first one was like ‘Wya? They’re playing Shape of You,’ and then the next one was like ‘help me get these chains off!’ Whatever that means.”
Other students present at Circle last Thursday claim Atto was plastered by the time they left the bar.
“He was totally wasted,” said Edgar Allenpo (CSOM ‘22). “Probably wouldn’t have even noticed if someone started doing some minor construction right in front of him. Or something like that.”
At press time, “Levitating” could be heard playing from just beyond a newly cemented wall blocking off Circle basement.