Classmate Clearly Zooming In From Florida This Week
MIAMI — In an effort to reduce the transmission of Covid-19, Boston College limited spring break to just one day this semester. While the University had hoped that this measure would prevent students from exposing themselves to the deadly virus while traveling, it appeared that one third-year accounting student didn’t get the fucking memo.
It became very clear early on during a Zoom Financial Accounting class on Monday that Sue Perspreder (CSOM ’22) was lounging on South Beach in Miami. As if the palm trees and sunny weather weren’t enough of a giveaway, she once “accidentally” unmuted herself while shouting “Oh my God, is that Dwyane Wade?!”
Decked out in a bathing suit and sunglasses and sipping what classmates perceived to be a delicious beverage out of a pineapple, Sue walked up and down the beach throughout the duration of the class. During one of the breakout rooms, she was allegedly seen attending a Mets Spring Training game.
When called on to answer a question during class, Perspreader reportedly said, “Oh my God, I’m so sorry if it’s loud! I’m not home right now, so it might be a little noisy. Um, I’m not actually sure what the answer is to that one.”
Perspreader also made a redundant effort to fill in her Financial Accounting classmates of her situation by posting unsolicited messages in the chat. “Sorry if it’s a little noisy! I’m not at home (because I am in Miami),” she said in one message.
At press time, it was becoming increasingly obvious that Perspreader would face enormous difficulty finding a group project partner to work with due to her possible Covid-19 exposure as well as her personality.