The New England Classic
Computer Science Department Hires Actual Python To Teach Classes

Computer Science Department Hires Actual Python To Teach Classes

SchoolWTF December 1, 2020 The New England Classic

Amid a chronic shortage of professors in the computer science department at BC, CS majors finally have a reason to rejoice: the department now... Computer Science Department Hires Actual Python To Teach Classes

Amid a chronic shortage of professors in the computer science department at BC, CS majors finally have a reason to rejoice: the department now has an actual living python as a faculty member to teach introductory classes on Python!

No one is quite sure about where the python came from, and nobody in the computer science department was involved in hiring him. Even so, his class appeared on Agora Portal during course selection. Since he arrived, he has spent his semester teaching students how to code, and on every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday at 1:00 sharp, the snake dutifully comes to class and slithers up to the lecture podium.

If that weren’t charming enough, the snake wears a little snake collar announcing his name as “Professor Steve,” and he always comes prepared with a small snake-size briefcase in which he holds his special snake papers. Professor Steve doesn’t talk in class — have you ever met a snake who can talk? — but he certainly can teach. Because he doesn’t have any limbs, Professor Steve uses the end of his tail to slowly type on his laptop, one key at a time: click, click, click. He goes nice and slow to make sure no one in the class gets stuck behind.

Because of Professor Steve, more students can enjoy the fruits of computer science than ever before! You know that you’re learning from an expert, because only pythons truly know how to code in Python. The syllabus for his class is incredibly detailed and effortful, and it’s clear that it took Professor Steve a long time to put it together because he types so slowly.

The students love Professor Steve both in and out of class. It’s not clear if he is able to catch or transmit Covid-19, but he hosts in-person office hours in St. Mary’s anyway. When students walk into his office, he is invariably there, laying under his heat lamp and looking at his laptop screen through his small snake-sized glasses. Students are always welcome in to go over homework, ask for career advice, or just have a nice chat with Professor Steve while sipping a nice hot cup of coffee from the Keurig in his office.

At first we weren’t sure about Professor Steve. “Can a snake teach a college class?” we asked ourselves. Despite our initial doubts, we have since learned the truth — a snake can teach a class on Python!