Student Who Moved Home Just Now Realizing His Parents Got Divorced
WESTCHESTER COUNTY, N.Y. — Two full weeks after returning home for the semester, junior Dan Nulment (CSOM ’22) has just now begun to realize that his parents may have ended their marriage at some point in the past three months.
“When my mom told me that Dad was ‘quarantining with that skanky receptionist,’ I just assumed that there had been a COVID outbreak at his law firm. Though, they did say that the holidays would be different this year,” said Nulment in a virtual interview with The Classic.
According to Nulment, nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he arrived home, but some of the decor had been changed.
“Mom usually switches up the furniture a little bit while I’m at school,” he said. “This time she moved the couches around and taped Harry Connick Jr.’s face over my dad’s in all the family photos.”
When asked if he felt as though this might be odd, Nulment explained that he assumed it was a joke.
“My parents are always goofing around. This summer, Mom spray painted the word ‘cheater’ on the side of Dad’s BMW because he stole money out of the bank when we were playing Monopoly. She’s a riot.”
Nulment’s roommate, Dave Orce (MCAS ’22), was able to shed some more light on the situation.
“His dad called in October and said that he wouldn’t be around as much anymore. Dan thought it meant that he was getting more hours at work,” said Orce.
Nulment admits that he should have seen the signs leading up to this, but still does not think that his parents will fully divorce.
“They get in fights all the time, just like any healthy couple,” he said. “There’s no way they stay separated for longer than a month, absolutely no way. Doesn’t this happen all the time? They have to get back together.”
At press time, Nulment was seen making two Christmas lists instead of one.