8 Things UGBC Candidates Aren’t Talking About

With UGBC presidential elections coming up fast, the candidates have still not addressed the questions that we really care about, so we’ve compiled this list of topics and questions that we think the candidates have egregiously overlooked.

1) The destruction of the Meatball Obsession Stand.

A year later, we still mourn the loss of this beloved and iconic institution of Lower Campus. Where were the candidates as this atrocity unfolded? What are their plans for reconstruction? We frankly find it absolutely alarming that these questions have not yet been addressed.

2) Do girls poop?

The candidates need to either confirm or deny this popular myth. I for one, would like some clarity on this topic.

3) What happens to a dream deferred?

Does it dry up like a raisin in the sun? 

4) Why my roommate gavin got two of his ribs removed…

…and why he’s been going through so many tissues lately?

5) Sanjaya from American Idol

No explanation needed.

6) Where were they when the decision was made to fire Steve Addazio?

Because none of them attended the vigil in his honor, we can only assume they had a hand in his termination. Justice must be served.

7) Palindromes

It’s the same backwards as it is forwards! How crazy is that?! And, still, they are silent. Appalling.

8) A Concrete Outline of What Changes They Plan to Make and How They Plan to Implement Those Changes to Improve the BC Community

Thank God for those printers in Eagles though, haha right?

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