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Our Takeaways From The State Of The Union Address

Our Takeaways From The State Of The Union Address

Big Issues February 7, 2019 The New England Classic

The State of the Union is a very formal occasion, and its guests must dress as such. Per a policy originating in the 1920... Our Takeaways From The State Of The Union Address

This past Tuesday, President Trump delivered his highly anticipated State of the Union address. Our political correspondent, Ignacio Reed, was in Washington to witness it secondhand on a 36” Panasonic flat screen, in a bar two blocks away the Seahawks’ practice facility. Here’s what he learned:

  1. Only Held Once A Year

Unlike other well-known American institutions such as the Super Bowl or Arbor Day, which occur quarterly, the State of the Union is only held annually.

  1. Historically, it is the President Who Delivers the Address

Now, it makes sense that the State of the Union is delivered by the President of the United States. But wouldn’t it be much cooler if the address was given by someone completely different every year?  Maybe a White House gardener, or one of those interns that gives tours of the Capitol building, for example. Or Fred Savage. In a world so rife with monotony, calling on a new face to give the speech could be a refreshing change!

  1. The State of the Union is Always Held in Washington D.C.

Similar to the preceding point, it would be another welcome change to hold the event in a different location every year. Imagine how exciting it would be to read in the local newspaper that the State of the Union is “COMING TO YOUR CITY” for “ONE NIGHT ONLY!” My six-man common room in 90, for example, would be an excellent place in which to pack  every elected official currently serving this country, and also republicans.

  1. The State of the Union is Always About the State of the USA

While the “union” in “State of the Union” is never specified, the State of the Union address is always about the state of the USA. This is cool! Once in a while, we should let another country take a turn, though. What is Canada up to? Or Morocco? Or Cleveland? These are questions that could, and should, be answered.

  1. The State of the Union is Always a Verbal Speech

The State of the Union is always given by way of verbal speech, and NEVER by way of interpretive dance.

  1. The State of the Union is a Formal Occasion

The State of the Union is a very formal occasion, and guests are expected to dress as such. Per a policy originating in the 1920 Treaty of Versailles, sweatpants are not, under any circumstances, permissible, and only certain types of jeans are allowed (depending on how well they are accessorized/bedazzled).