OL Found Frozen After Six Months Without Icebreaker
CHESTNUT HILL — Boston College Police Department officers were called to Rubenstein D44 Saturday after receiving reports that resident Cliff Calley (MCAS ‘19) was found frozen solid.
According to the BCPD report, Calley’s roommates were about halfway through Big Booty Mix Volume 11, when they noticed he had disappeared. A quick search revealed him frozen solid and as blue as his Orientation Leader polo.
“Ever since this summer, Cliff has just been a different person,” said his roommate, Jack Reese (CSOM ‘19). “He would come springing into the room and try to get us to play the name game. We’ve been roommates for four years.”
Reese went on to describe how every story Calley told could only be communicated through a poorly acted skit.
“We had no idea it would end like this,” said a second roommate, Jack Cleese (CSOM ‘19). “We can only answer what our spirit animal is or what superpower we would want so many times. We locked his question ball and polos up in the closet.”
BCPD noted that this is not the first time an OL has been found frozen after a withdrawal from summers filled with skits and icebreakers. In an official statement, they called for fellow students to keep an eye out for each other.
“The immune systems of OLs are used to having the ice broken up for them that in the winter their bodies struggle to regulate their temperature on their own. If you see a roommate or friend who seems to be struggling, ask them some fun, easy conversation starters, or at least tell them your hometown and major.”
At press time, Health Services was thawing Cliff by showing him his fun photos with his “I don’t know about you, but I’m feeling Group 22” sign.