“¡Ÿó! Whât’š ūp brõ¿” Reports Student Coming Back From Abroad
UNITED STATES — Friends and acquaintances of Linda Wilkins (MCAS ’20) have raised concerns over her “peculiar” new speech habits. Wilkins, who spent the fall semester studying abroad in Barcelona, for some reason started speaking with a nondescript Pan-European accent upon returning to campus.
“I saw Linda in the Rat yesterday and went over to say hello,” said longtime friend Homer Cordero (CSOM ’20) on Wednesday. “She immediately fired back with ‘¡Øh mÿ gõd¡ ¿Hœw wàß yōûr bręåk?’”
Cordero went on to explain that he found it difficult to hold a conversation with Wilkins due to her newfound aura of “general culturedness.”
“I have literally no clue how I knew that she was speaking with all those accent marks and shit, but I know for a fact that she was. Shit’s distracting, man,” he said.
When reached for comment, Wilkins responded with a canned text message about how she can only communicate with Americans via WhatsApp or Facebook Messenger for the next four to 12 months.