THE RAT — In a surprising move this Thursday, friends of sophomore Mike Hanley collectively agreed that his “hilarious roasts” are really just veiled insults. The epiphany occurred when the friends reminisced about his classic jokes, suddenly realizing they were targeted at each of their insecurities and/or flaws.
“Yeah, we were all laughing, and then it just hit us,” said Mike’s friend, Billy Rasco (MCAS ‘21). “Like, he keeps calling my mom a whore because she got a divorce last year. I didn’t realize how much it hurt until now.”
“He would always say this stuff freshman year, too, and I thought it meant that he felt comfortable enough around us to give us shit, ya know?” added another member of the friend group, John Lee (CSON ‘21). “But he was actually kinda harsh and I think we encouraged it by laughing. He probably couldn’t tell everyone was just really uncomfortable.”
Hanley couldn’t be reached for comment, although his tweets on the subject frequently reference him “not giving a fuck,” and include suggestions for critics to “suck my dick,” or “kiss my ass.”
At press time, Hanley’s friends were seen awkwardly staring at each other while Hanley joked at lunch Thursday, then texting in their private group chat about it afterwards.