Addazio Refuses To Board Team Plane After Watching “Snakes On A Plane,” May Miss Purdue Game

LOGAN AIRPORT — Boston College head football coach Steve Addazio may miss this Saturday’s game against Purdue after refusing to board the team plane to Indiana earlier this morning. While the reason for his refusal to board the plane was initially in question, Coach Addazio was quick to clarify.

“I turned on TBS last night hoping to catch a few reruns of Seinfeld after a long day of practice. It wasn’t on, but before I was able to change the channel, the title caught my eye: Snakes on a Plane. I was hooked. A documentary about a flight from Hawaii to Los Angeles, infested with snakes? Wow. That’s the kind of stuff the government doesn’t want you to hear about. There were cobras, rattlesnakes, vipers, you name it. Anyway, if something like that happened before, it could happen again. And I’m not taking any chances,” said Addazio.

Members of both the team and coaching staff were equally frustrated, according to reports.

“Does he really not know Snakes on a Plane is a movie?” asked defensive coordinator Jim Reid. “It’s a pretty well-known film. I mean, it’s been around for well over a decade.”

Reid confirmed that despite multiple assurances from the pilot and co-pilot that the plane was snake-free, Addazio remained adamant in his refusal to board.

“It really doesn’t look like Steve is going to board. I’m not sure what we’re going to do without our head coach on Saturday, but we’re remaining hopeful he comes around,” said Reid.

At press time, Addazio was seen begging athletic director Martin Jarmond to spend “whatever it takes” to “snake-proof” both Alumni Stadium and the newly constructed Fish Field House.

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