Dog Walked On BC Campus Develops Quite The Ego
CHESTNUT HILL — Shockwaves were sent through local dog communities after one pup proudly declared himself the “Cutest Dog Ever” on Monday afternoon.
The six-month-old cockapoo claims that he is only asserting his rightful title after droves of Boston College students swarmed him outside McElroy Commons.
“There was a queue forming down Hammond Street, with some students even waiting in the crosswalks, willing to be mowed down by cars for the mere privilege of petting me,” says Hunter, who took a break from eating his own poop to speak with press.
While Hunter seems exceptionally confident in his new role, other canines expressed concerns with the legitimacy of his claims.
“We see this every year when freshmen start to miss their pets,” confided Daisy, a golden retriever who witnessed the entire affair. “An average pug suddenly seems like Miss America once Welcome Week comes to a close. It’s sad, really, that he’s letting it go to his head. Fame is a fickle friend indeed,” she warned, noting the rise and fall of several former “Cutest Dogs.”
One such dog, Rufus, testified to the brevity of his reign.
“One minute, I’m all over Instagram as the most adorable dog at the tailgate, then I’m old news as soon as they bus in the puppies for finals week. Typical humans, always chasing younger tail,” he whined, and then returned to sniffing kitty litter, searching for a high that life could no longer give him.
This tragic fate, all too common for the furry friends of Chestnut Hill, was ignored back on the Heights.
“Omg, I need to get a pic for my story, this dog is the cutest thing ever!” shrieked sophomore Gabbi as she chased down a mutt outside of Stokes South. As she angled her face to fit the dog filter on Snapchat, she missed the ambitious gleam already forming in the eyes of the naive pup.
“The cutest dog ever…” mused the canine, unaware of the consequences that would soon come for his hubris.
At press time, Hunter could be seen practicing his puppy eyes in the fountain outside Gasson.