Professor Alludes To Weekend In Hopes That Students Will Ask What He Did
FULTON HALL — In an effort to connect with his students, Computers in Management professor Radnor Kirkwood started out his 10:30AM class a little differently Tuesday morning. Kirkwood, reportedly starting class at 10:31 to show his “relaxed and laid-back side,” began class with a question: “How was everyone’s weekend?” he said. Beside a few murmurs, the class was silent as they stared at their iPhones.
Kirkwood decided to prod further: “Did anyone else do something fun?” Receiving blank stares from his entire class, Kirkwood allegedly tried an even stronger tactic: “I looked for you guys on TV while I watched the game…” Even though this comment clearly showed that he was a fun professor with school spirit, his challenge was met with the same silence.
Resorting to his final option, he finished his sentence: “…but I didn’t see any of you, luckily.” This received a few chuckles, but with no more ammunition, Kirkwood was forced to begin his lesson without getting to tell his students about the Dave Matthews concert he attended Saturday, the hike he and his dog took Sunday morning, or the explosive sex he had with his fiancé just a few hours before class began.
At press time, Kirkwood was desperately trying to weave his weekend shenanigans into a lunchtime conversation with his colleagues.