Students Agree: No Reason To Get Out Of Bed

On this brisk, glorious Sunday morning, Boston College students across campus have posed an important question: “why should we get out of bed?”. After brief discussion, all individuals have unanimously agreed that every moment spent out of the bed today will be “pretty pointless.”

“Why should we get out of bed when we could just stay in bed?” asked every BC student this morning. And they make a very good point. Beds are warm and comfortable, and the world is a dangerous, cold place. Sometimes it snows outside. When we get out of bed, we’re exposed to the elements. We have to do homework, and we feel morally obligated to go to the Plex. Overall, there are a lot of compelling reasons to not leave our beds today for one second.

From Newton’s Keyes South to Lower’s Stayer Hall, Boston College students “don’t really understand” why people would ever want to leave any of their respective beds today.

“It’s a pretty big mystery to us,” mused the entire Boston College student body, as they snuggled between their Tempurpedic mattress pads and plushy, down comforters. Some students pointed out that eating food would also be a good thing to do today, but the idea was quickly discarded when students realized they would have to leave their beds to acquire said food.

At press time, Boston College students were still huddled in their beds, browsing through social media on their iPhones, and completely ignoring their responsibilities.

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