“Are You More Shane Or Ilya Coded?” Says Girl Wondering If Her Boyfriend Would Be Chill With A Strap On
SexSportsStudent Life January 16, 2026 The New England Classic
KOSTKA — They say sex sells, and that has certainly been the case with the meteoric rise of the gay-smut-porn-adjacent television show Heated Rivalry. Foreshadowed by the appearance of an inflatable dildo at the Northeastern game in October, The New England Classic has seen an increase in both BC hockey game attendance and gay-inspired sex.
Heated Rivalry has gone platinum in every Kotska triple and investigators for the Classic found the perfect case study of the impact of gay hockey smut on the female libido: the situationship of Suzanne Cox (MCAS ‘28) and Donald Ildo (CSOM ‘28). Since hitting it off on Halloween at Hamilton, Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov’s romance has given Cox newfound inspiration for her relationship with Ildo.
While recapping their winter break on the Res, Cox mentioned to Ildo she had been “reallllyyyyy into hockey recently” and proceeded to ask Ildo if he had “ever been with another guy in a sexual context?” Displeased by his answer, Suzanne proceeded to invite her hook-up over to Walsh seven for a Heated Rivalry watch party to investigate further.
After they finished the first episode, Cox posed a question to the group, “Are you more Shane or Ilya coded? Like, do you like to take control, or do you tend to be more submissive? Just wondering for funsies!” She continued, “Like, let’s say you were with someone, and they wanted to experiment with a new method of intercourse, would you be willing to add one tiny new step to your routine?” Cox emphasized she was asking out of curiosity and “totally hypothetically,” but seemed to be listening intently and taking notes while Ildo responded.
At press time, Cox was seen searching strap-ons on Amazon in the Chocolate Bar and revealed with a wink that she was more Ilya-coded.
