Super Original Girl Says “Why He Kinda…” Towards Every Dad During Parents Weekend

MOD LOT– Parents weekend is here, an exciting time for all of you: MILF, DILF, and even GILF lovers if that’s what you’re into! A weekend full of parents buying their children alcohol to hopefully be perceived as the “cool parent”, finding out your situationship is secretly a mama’s boy, and of course, meeting everyone’s hot parents! If you’re anything like Del Ushinal (CSOM ‘25), then seeing all the hot parents is what you are looking forward to the most. 

Ushinal has been looking forward to this weekend since, well, last year’s parents weekend. After picking out her cutest tailgating outfit, no one could stop her. “I just wanted to look good to see all of my friends’ parents and make a good impression, it literally has nothing to do with the fact that my roommate’s dad is totally hot and so Nick Miller from New Girl coded.” 

Anne Oyed (MCAS ‘25), told members of The Classic that while walking around the mod lot looking for tailgates to go to, Ushinal could not stop pointing at everyone’s dads and saying, “Lowkey though, why he kinda…” over and over again with a smirk. “She keeps pointing out these ugly ass old men and saying they’re hot,” said Oyed. “Like, yeah it was funny the first time, but now it’s just getting annoying and weird.”

“The day was going so well until I told some woman that this man in front of us is ‘kinda…’ but it became really awkward when she said that man was her husband” explained Ushinal. According to other people at this tailgate, this was not only awkward but an excruciatingly painful conversation to have witnessed. 

At press time, Del Ushinal was found seemingly stressed, while studying an article called “How To Talk To Older Men” in preparations for next year’s parents weekend!

More Hot Single Sandwiches NEAR YOU:

New Study Finds 32% of Freshmen Lose Virginity While Wearing Agape Latte Shirt New Perspectives Curriculum Concludes Highest Achievable Good Is The WHOPPER Jr.®️ Op-Ed: I Am Madly In Love With The Single Weird Tiny Fully Finished Piece of The Schiller Center University Approves Pine Manor Conjugal Visits