The New England Classic
Mac Remodel Unveiled, Mike@Mac Now Master Chief

Mac Remodel Unveiled, [email protected] Now Master Chief

Campus CultureFeaturedWTF February 5, 2022 The New England Classic

McELROY COMMONS—With a much-needed face-lift to Carney Dining Room complete, students of the Upper Campus and CoRo communities have been abuzz about the changes... Mac Remodel Unveiled, Mike@Mac Now Master Chief

McELROY COMMONS—With a much-needed face-lift to Carney Dining Room complete, students of the Upper Campus and CoRo communities have been abuzz about the changes to what has come to be called “New Mac.” Sleeker signage and brighter lighting have given the space a fresher look, while many have remarked that the food remains sub-par. If the fare has barely changed, however, the same cannot be said for another institution: [email protected]

A perennial friendly face among the BC Dining staff, [email protected] has long enjoyed a cult-like following for his warmth and bonhomie. According to internal sources, however, several administrators felt Mike’s homey mien to be incompatible with their vision of a modern Mac.

“Mike’s an affable guy, the kinda guy who’ll offer you a high-five or help clean up a spill,” said one BC Dining executive who wished to remain anonymous. “But he could never fit into this new space. The new Mac is bold and sexy, and it demands someone who is bold and sexy, perhaps someone who wears a mech suit and carries a gun from the future.”

Master Chief, then, was the obvious choice for the new [email protected] A product of the UNSC SPARTAN program and a native of Natick, MA, Master Chief is widely seen as the perfect fit for New Mac’s chief of hospitality.

“Sir,” said Master Chief, “who’s hungwy.”

At press time, Master Chief was seen touting an energy sword and asking a group of freshmen about the best place to get space beer.