Student Vapers Decide To Play It Safe And Chain Smoke Cigarettes
RICHDALE FOOD SHOPS — After Governor Charlie Baker finalized the state-wide vape ban on Tuesday, Boston College Juulers announced their plans to take the “responsible course of action” and begin chain smoking cigarettes until electronic vaping devices are declared completely safe.
“I know exactly how horrible cigarettes are for me,” Thad Clouds (CSOM ‘20) admitted, “but with vapes I have no clue what they’re doing to my lungs. The devil you know, right?”
Several students were seen trading loose cigarettes outside of O’Neill Library on Wednesday morning, reportedly looking for a brand that tastes like a mango pod.
“I’ve been hearing about these vape deaths for months,” said Grey F. Ilem (MCAS ‘22). “Now that buying the stuff is illegal, I figured I’d lead a healthier, safer life and rip Marlboro Reds until we know all the facts.”
At press time, 7/11 was sold-out of American Spirits, and Nicorette gum was backordered for two weeks on all online shopping platforms.