AJ Dillon Hired To Break Up Cheesesteak Line
LOWER LIVE — After weeks of intense pressure from student groups and BC Dining staff, Boston College has reportedly settled on a solution for battling the increasingly long lines at Corcoran Commons.
“Basically, we’re just gonna have AJ pound the shit out of each line about halfway down, and we’re thinking that should knock most of the excess students out of play,” said Megan O’Neill, associate director of restaurant operations for BC Dining, referring to Boston College running back AJ Dillon. “Seeing as he’s had so much success running through defensive lines, we predict that he won’t have any trouble breaking through twenty or so hungry sophomores.”
Dillon declined to comment on his new position, but head football coach Steve Addazio seemed to praise the administration’s solution.
“We’re amped to see little Dildo — that’s what we call him — step up into this new role. Sure, it won’t be easy having him miss practice every day from five to eight, but we think he’ll get plenty of offensive practice smashing kids into the bakery display,” said Addazio.
At press time, Dillon was seen spraying the line with BBQ and chipotle mayo, asking the students behind him if they were ready for “The Sauce.”