Student Has Sinking Suspicion No One Really Cares How Her Summer Was
LOWER LIVE — Munching on a full plate of questionable eggs and home fries, junior Samantha O’Gallison reportedly began to wonder whether or not all of her classmates actually cared how her summer was.
Sources close to O’Gallison believe she fears the vast majority of people who have asked about her summer, which she spent interning at a PR firm in Providence, were only using the question for the sake of comfortably get through two or three minutes of small talk with relative ease and did not expect or want her to say anything beyond “pretty good” and then ask the same question to them.
“My best friends know how my summer was because we kept in touch all summer, you know, like friends do,” said O’Gallison. “But all of a sudden I get back on campus and I’m running into people I had Courage to Know with two years ago, people who lived across the hall in Walsh last year, and people I know vaguely through other people but still follow on Instagram so I feel awkward without approaching them. They all ask how my summer was, but what if it’s just because they don’t know what else to say? How can I explain three eventful months in a couple of minutes? ‘Good’ doesn’t suffice, but should I expand?”
O’Gallison, a philosophy major who has had these conversations dozens of times already, seems to have grown jaded: “Whatever, I guess. We’ve all got a couple good, true friends and not much more. I mean, I hope some people really care.”
At press time, students were planning on milking the “how was your summer?” question for as long as possible until they could get back to their daily routine of pretending they didn’t see each other.