Plex Employee With Spotify Premium To Headline Hutapalooza
NEWTON, MA — The Boston College Campus Activities Board announced Friday morning that the headliner for this year’s Hutapalooza, a new concert held at the Quonset Hut on Newton Campus, will be a Plex Employee with Spotify Premium. This up-and-coming yet secretive DJ is a cult hit in certain circles, known for performing a number of awesome mixes including “90s Alt Rock,” “Jaztronica,” and “Daily Mix 3.”
This is the second year the concert is being held inside the Newton recreational exercise facility. Last year’s headliner was none other than a Plex employee with a Pandora subscription, but his set was met with scathing reviews, and the sophomore work-study student was booed off stage. Responding to student feedback, CAB truly upped their game this year and opted for a Plex Employee with a more streamlined and demand-focused online music platform. Announcing the news of the concert performer, CAB President and local amateur dentist Bart Millow (CSOM ‘17) explained: “We really tried to do something wildly unexpected and absurd after last year’s disappointing performance. We now understand that relying on a music service with a shuffle-only playlist and no offline listening is not acceptable for BC students. I can assure you that this is going to be a high quality music experience.”
CAB has not released any more specific information regarding the concert’s actual performer, but insists that this is only because they do not yet know which individual Plex employee with Spotify Premium will be assigned to work the Saturday night Hut shift. The current front-runners for this illustrious position include Jenny from the Equipment Desk (MCAS ‘19), Ryan from the Control Desk (LSOE ‘17), and Ryan The Cute Lifeguard (CSOM ’18). Although there is great degree of musical and artistic diversity to be found across this group of aspiring Hutaploozers, Millow promises that they are all equally qualified for the position, in that they each have a paid subscription to Spotify. “Regardless of which poor bastard we decide to call into work on a Saturday night, all concert-goers are in for an awesome, one-of-a-kind experience.”
The logistical event considerations for Hutapoolaza will also be a little different than Plexapoolaza. Namely, there will be no stage and just a “really nice bluetooth speaker” for a sound system. “The setup and location both don’t really matter here, the features of Spotify Premium are what will draw people to this concert,” noted Plex supervisor Randy Wang. “Sure, some students might have Spotify Premium themselves, but you really just can’t beat the experience of hearing music at a live concert. At the end of the day, we [Plex employees] just want our Newton brothers and sisters to feel cared for.”
At press time, there were already a few scumbags in the BC class Facebook groups page trying to resell their Hutapalooza tickets for up to $80 above the box office prices.