2150 Piano Replaced With Two Tiny Maracas And Communal Oboe
ST. THOMAS MORE APARTMENTS — Residents of 2150 were shocked this week to discover that their beloved lobby piano had disappeared without warning, replaced by two maracas sized for the fists of a newborn baby, and a single oboe with a ripped off piece of notebook paper taped to it, reading, “FOR SHARE.”
The discovery was made by piano frequenter, senior Eltonedeaf John (MCAS ‘18), who was reportedly coming to the lobby to “blow off some steam after a long day.”
“It’s been great having access to a piano in such a central, echoey space that shares a wall with multiple study rooms and apartments,” reported John. “I love to spend a few hours every day unpacking my feelings by loudly singing to a nonconsenting audience. What am I going to do now that it’s gone? My emotions are too complex for an oboe!”
It is unclear whether the piano was purposefully removed by the 2150 staff, or if the incident is a result of illegal actions. Either way, life in 2150 is “different” now, according to senior Hannah St. Clair.
“There was definitely a transition period, but now people seem to really be embracing the replacement instruments,” said St. Clair. “I’ve never seen anyone work so hard to learn the oboe, or to figure out how to hold on to the maracas between their sweaty fingers. All for the sake of music. It’s kind of sweet, actually.”
Upon further reflection, St. Clair quickly retracted her previous statement, saying, “I take it back. This isn’t music. Have you ever heard someone play an oboe? No? There’s a reason for that.”
At press time, several students were reportedly shoving socks in their ears as makeshift earplugs while a trio in the lobby attempted a rendition of Adele’s “Someone Like You.”