Student ‘Not One To Get Political Online, But’—Oh Boy, Here We Go
MIDDLE CAMPUS — At 11:02AM this morning, senior Bryan McDadderson (MCAS ’17) placed his fingers to keyboard and—uh-oh—thought about posting a Facebook status with his “unique” insight into the 2016 presidential election. While McDadderson reportedly told himself that this behavior was not consistent with his normal online activity, sources close to McDadderson nevertheless said that they wouldn’t be surprised if he actually posted something and—yep, oh boy—here we go—he totally did, didn’t he?
“I’ve been quiet for the majority of this seemingly endless campaign, but I cannot hold my silence any longer,” began McDadderson on his Facebook post, which—ugh, this oughta be good—had three full-bodied paragraphs of text. McDadderson then went on to—oh, dear—mention that today, election day, was the perfect time for him to get something off his mind that’s been “bothering him for quite some time now” and allow people, some of whom he barely knows, to be subjected to his haphazard, grammatically erroneous and often logically inconsistent personal views.
McDadderson—doesn’t he know this has been said a million times already?—went on to denounce the negative rhetorical surrounding the campaign and announced his expectations that his friends, family, and the media maintained a keener focus on “the issues” and stopped treating the election “like a reality show.” Alas—thank the Lord—McDadderson refrained from formally endorsing a candidate, although this did not prevent nearly every one of his friends who read the post from assuming he agreed with them.
At press time, McDadderson’s status had garnered one like, which came from his high school football coach, while also igniting a heated debate in the comments section between his subtly Islamophobic relatives and radically liberal acquaintances from high school.