Pre-Law Student Filibusters Walsh RD Meeting For Ten Hours, Escapes All Disciplinary Action
WALSH HALL — After a wild Saturday night on the third floor of Boston College’s iconic sophomore shithole, the rowdy yet lovable boys of Walsh 307 found themselves in some seriously hot water. Following a handful of noise complaints and a couple of tip-offs from ResLife insiders, a crack team of RAs discovered that the suite’s packed, sweaty common room was housing a group of over 30 underage students and an undisclosed amount of alcohol. After being sentenced to a disciplinary board meeting, the rambunctious “Gang of 8” thought they were done for. That is, until one of the young men took it upon himself to become a hero. John Davidson (MCAS ‘19), bravely stood in front of his Resident Director and began the longest filibuster in Boston College history.
For ten and a half hours, Davidson stood up for his roommates and spoke uninterrupted to save his group from a documented write up. Despite repeatedly being told, “You’re not allowed to do a filibuster,” and,“Stop this immediately,” by his Resident Director, Davidson persevered. Witnesses say he almost lost his stride around the eighth hour, when he began simply screaming the word “filibuster” over and over for about 45 minutes. All school officials had left the room about an hour after Davidson started speaking.
Davidson, a member of the Bellarmine Law Society and the Mock Trial team, said he first decided to pursue a career in law after binge watching 6 seasons of Law and Order on Netflix in the summer before his freshman year. When asked about this incident in particular, Davidson had the following statement prepared: “Ever since I first heard about filibusters, I knew that was what I wanted to do with my life. I’ve been bullshitting my way through life for as long as I can remember, I might as well get paid for it.”
At press time, Davidson’s peers had stated that, “Johnny’s a fuckin legend, man.” Boston College officials have refused to comment.