CSOM Student Photographing Cherry Blossoms Will One Day Finance The Amazon’s Deforestation
Big IssuesStudent Life September 9, 2026 The New England Classic
GASSON QUAD — With the blooming of cherry trees across campus, Boston College students have been rushing to take a photo with the trees to make their Hinge profile look less pathetic. This is no less true for the Brads and Chads and Drads of the Carroll School of Management.
One student, Tray Cutter (CSOM ‘26), has followed in this trend and has excitedly commented on his experience.
“I’m horny for these trees bruh,” said Cutter. “Wait, that’s not the right word, I think excited is what normies say. It’s so nice seeing all the pinks and shit. When I was a kid, my dad told me trees are where we get paper from, and it’s nice to see I can use the trees for something else, like lookin’ and picturin’.”
After graduating this May, Cutter will be working for his father’s business, Cutter-Kirk (no relation) Associates, a hedge fund operating in Prudential Center. The fund primarily invests in Latin America, specifically in cattle ranching, the paper industry, the lumber industry, and boutique brothels.
“Trees are lit, as the kids say,” said George Cutter, Cutter’s father. “At Cutter-Kirk, however, we specialize in lighting up trees, and not in the holly jolly sense. The land currently being wasted on mud and frogs and other cramp can be better used as space for AI data centers, parking lots, and Funko Pop disposal sites.”
At press time, Cutter was seen googling “Is the Pine Tree Reserve like reallyyyyyyyy legally protected like for sure ong.”
