UHS Offers Virtual STD Screenings Over Snow Day
SexStudent Life January 29, 2026 The New England Classic
UNIVERSITY HEALTH SERVICES — In the face of Monday’s rare and highly anticipated snow day, many university organizations were forced to pivot to accommodate the dire weather conditions. One organization that showed unbelievable bravery and resilience in the face of this challenge was Boston College’s University Health Services.
UHS announced on Sunday that they would be offering, for one day and one day only, virtual screenings for sexually transmitted diseases. These screenings would be reserved for “baddies and hotties, chicks only.”
They then followed this announcement by clarifying that any appointments concerning above the belt health issues would be immediately cancelled. Notable cancelled cases included violent and life-threatening cases of alcohol poisoning, a broken femur, and misaligned lipfiller.
This undertaking was spearheaded by student volunteer Luke Addatcookie (CSON ‘29) who personally trained a student taskforce that would be conducting the appointments. When asked why the trained professionals would not be performing the examinations themselves, Addatcookie responded, “Why would they be working if it’s a snow day?”
The volunteer training program was conducted from the hours of 10:37 P.M. on Sunday to 6:07 A.M. on Monday. During the training, the predominately male volunteers were taught an arsenal of phrases to use during their meetings, including but not limited to: “who’s the lucky guy” and “hey girl what’s yo snap ahahaha.”
The task force encountered mild pushback during the midday hours on Monday. A series of examiners were confronted with multiple calls in a row from the same Walsh 8-man, all of whom had contracted chlamydia. BCPD had to break up a brief physical altercation after several of the women collectively accused one examiner of being the alleged source.
