Spooky Dookie! BC Dining Strikes Again

MCELROY COMMONS — Pharte Smella (MCAS ‘27) checked the BC Dining menus this morning in his Delvin 008 Europe in the World lecture, and was delighted to find that the Daily Deal at Carney’s was a quesadilla! Smella finally saw the light at the end of the tunnel after having a meak piece of grilled chicken and french fries for dinner for the past week. He even prepared to ‘grub out’ at dinner by having a Mac salad for lunch, with grilled chicken instead of popcorn! Little did he know what was about to come after his Mac feast…

Smella waited in line for 20 minutes, counting three BC Lookaways and 10 minutes of scrolling on the weather app to avoid awkward conversation with the Roncastlers. He was surprised and delighted to find that his quesadilla was #phattt, even posting on his finsta story a boomerang captioned “bad day to be a quesadilla! mac workers blesssseddd today #weup!” After that white plastic plate was cleared, Smella began to feel a rumbly in his tummy.

Fearing what was about to come next, Smella made his way up the upper stairs, clenching his cheeks, both the rear and front-facing ones (Smella loves to mew), and trying to remain nonchalant about the fact that Mt. Vesuvius was about to erupt in his stomach, and the Fitz 3 communal bathroom was Pompeii. 

Things were looking dire as Smella approached the bathroom, punching in his code incorrectly six or seven times, he wasn’t sure if he was going to make it. Smella fought for his life on the toilet while watching 1.5 innings of the Red Sox game on full volume.

Feeling lighter than ever, Smella sat up and attempted to end the Quesadilla Saga of 2025 by flushing the toilet, but, you guessed it! It was clogged. Smella examined his surroundings, finding the bathroom empty and made a run for it! Members of the Classic questioned Smella if he washed his hands and were left with no response.

A couple of hours later, Smella’s roommate came back saying, “Dude, the bathroom freakin’ reeks…someone just filled out the work order for one of the toilets that’s clogged.” Smella smiled to himself, already plotting his steak and cheese lunch at the Rat tomorrow.

The second stall of the Fitzpatrick Hall Floor 3 bathroom currently sits with a large blue trash bag over it and rumor has it that Smella struck again in the men’s restroom of Lyon’s Hall after his steak and cheese.

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