BC Dining Combats Ingredient Inflation, Introduces Lettuce Sandwich
LOWER LIVE- Inflation impacts all consumer goods. Gas prices are up, the value of the dollar is down, and that guy’s head from the 2007 AirHeads commercial has gotta be so stank hulkin’ big right now. Even Boston College Dining Services (BCDS), famously known for their low-cost daily deals, is struggling to navigate its way through the current macroenvironment of irate inflation.
BCDS took to its Instagram story to transparently convey the issues it is facing. Following an infographic on the war in Ukraine, it posted another infographic showing the price increases of the everyday items that make up the so good and delicious BC Burger. Not surprisingly, almost every ingredient was up! Cheese up 33%! Red onion 40%! Russian presence in Mariupol 87%!
The one ingredient, however, that held its own against the evils of inflation was lettuce. Down 3%, lettuce has proven to be a Northern Star in the world of rampant price increases. With that news, BCDS decided to put the new Lettuce Sandwich on their daily menu and sell it for just $8.99! The Classic sat down with one of BCDS’ marketing managers, Fuckin’ Asshole, to discuss the new hot item. We then spliced their quotes from the interview, because we hate them!
“I am […] a huge […] fart […] er and lettuce is just so vital to a lifestyle like that,” Asshole remarked, “[…] and we believe that lettuce can please […] me […] and bring back pleasure as a prevalent ideal […] in the United States.”
Finally talking about the sandwich itself, Asshole told us that “it will have lettuce […] and […] uh […] bread.” A solid option for vegans and carnivores alike, this sandwich is bound to be the new Steak and Cheese. Before sprinting away, BC’s Asshole left us with one final offering: “C […] o […] c […] k.”