Yes, Student With Barstool Flag Is Voting In Midterms Too
CLAVER HALL — In a stunning move Saturday evening, Bryce Myers (CSOM ’22) announced his intentions to vote in the upcoming midterm elections. Myers, who receives his political news from the Snapchat Discover section and has a large “Saturdays Are For The Boys” flag hanging on the wall of his Upper quad, appeared proud to be engaging in his civic duty via Indiana absentee ballot.
When asked about the races he was voting in, Myers said, “I don’t really know who’s running, but if he’s a pussy, he’s going down.” He pointed to recent success in the state as evidence to stay the current political course. “I mean, the Pacers are in the playoffs now, and Luck’s healthy again, so why the fuck do we need a ‘blue wave’?”
Myers’ roommates expressed surprise at his civic commitment. “Yeah, I never thought Bryce would vote,” said roommate Adam Vetnab (MCAS ’22). “I’m pretty sure he still thinks bills walk up to Congress Schoolhouse Rock-style.”
Myers, in between sips from a can of Natural Light, did admit his vote is influenced by recent events. “Yeah, after this whole Supreme Court thing, I’m def [sic] more aware of how dangerous it is for guys out there. If I can’t go out and accidentally grab girls’ asses and still get into Harvard Business School, then what is my country doing for me?!”
At press time, Myers was spotted filling out his absentee ballot with a red pen.