The New England Classic
UGBC Shutdown Ends, Entire Student Body Unaware
CHESTNUT HILL — After a stand-off of unprecedented length, the Undergraduate Government of Boston College ended a shutdown that lasted just over three days. According to a statement from the council, the shutdown began when members of UGBC were unable to agree whether to fund new door knobs for Carney... Read more
UGBC Presidential Candidate Found To Have Dangerously Close Ties To Student Government Of Moscow State University
CARNEY HALL — Coming at the end of what has been an especially caustic and divisive UGBC election, there has been a significant increase in gossip around campus about the candidates. Most notably, a vast majority of these rumors point to current presidential frontrunner Peter Volkov (LSOE ‘17) having uncomfortably... Read more
The NEC Endorses An Autocratic Monarchy For UGBC Executive Presidency
FROM THE CLASSIC’S EDITORIAL BOARD: Like a potato reaching the apex of golden crispiness in an oven at a roasting 375ºF, the UGBC presidential campaign season is drawing near its end. After several contentious debates and extensive campaigning, the field has narrowed to only three teams, who have all... Read more
Student In Suit Must Be Important
BOSTON COLLEGE — Turning heads and sparking private hypotheses as to what exactly he was going to or coming from, junior Kyle Andersonian (CSOM ‘17) was spotted sporting a suit and tie early Wednesday morning by multiple trustworthy sources. Despite eyewitnesses’ not possessing any knowledge of Andersonian’s age, socioeconomic... Read more