Big Issues Archives | Page 3 of 13 | The New England Classic

Liz Cheney Found Searching Through Upper Dorms, Claims To Find Weapons of Mass Destruction

Big Issues Campus Culture WTF October 28, 2024

WHEREVER THE OIL IS — Former U.S. Representative Liz Cheney is set to speak at the Council for Women at Boston College Colloquium as part of her national tour to make everyone forget the actions of her father, aptly named former Vice President of the United States and Emperor-elect... Read more

Every Gated Community In NY Represented In “Diverse” Class Discussion

Big Issues Campus Culture School October 10, 2024

“What makes us different is what makes us special,” said Shell Turd (CSOM ’28). “I’ve met people from all over the place. I’ve met kids from Oakwood Heights, Pinebridge Estates, Elmton Ranch, and even Maplesden Village all the way out in Westchester!”

Uh Oh! The Professor Whose Class You’re Failing Sat Next to You in the Sauna!

Big Issues WTF October 7, 2024

“But then–lurking from the shadows, my financial accounting professor [Bill Incesheet (CSOM ‘88)] situated his half-naked ass next to me, fresh off a cold call in class, to which I responded with a stuttered mumble and some lightly shat pants.”

Freshman Submits First Paper In Comic Sans, Claiming It Adds Character

Big Issues Freshmen WTF October 2, 2024

“Each font has a different story, and that’s, like, so cool. I just love the visual artistry of it all,” said Turner, who left her entire paper formatted in a single paragraph.

Classmate With Red Bandana On Backpack Wouldn’t Even Hold The Door For You

Big Issues Campus Culture Sports September 19, 2024

“Most of those who tie a bandana to their backpack honor Welles’ heroic legacy. However, some students who do it can’t remember their last act of service for anybody other than themselves.”

BC Ranked 189th In Free Speech: 10 Things You Can Now Say

Big Issues Featured September 17, 2024

BC is a free speech friendly campus! Boston College was recently ranked 189th out of 257 colleges and universities for free speech on campus. BC is proud to be ranked above universities such as Gulag State and Censorship Polytechnic.

Gassy Gasson Renovations, Bells Ring When Someone Passes Gas

Big Issues Campus Culture WTF September 16, 2024

Originally set for every quarter of the hour, the bells now ring every time someone passes gas. Even worse, an announcement echoes throughout the halls, sharing the name of who dealt it with the entire campus.

Uh Oh! Someone Just Mentioned Taylor Swift Around A 5’5” Man Who Loves Football

Big Issues Sports February 13, 2024

WHOVILLE — As Superbowl parties and parlays caked the American landscape this past Sunday, many fans of the game flocked to their television screens to view the biggest American sporting event of the year. Some of America’s biggest superstars, like Taylor Swift, Ice Spice, and Lady Gaga, were able... Read more

BREAKING: Part Two of THE PATH Revealed

Big Issues Campus Culture Drinking November 10, 2023

Sure, you might have seen the first page of #THEPATH, which includes things like the Eagles having to win out the league and Virginia having to beat Louisville in the games this weekend, but little did readers know that there was an entire second side of #THEPATH.

BC’s Legal Lineup: Predictions for Who’s Diving into the Swim & Dive Legal Battle

Big Issues Campus Culture Sex October 21, 2023

After getting a team suspension due to hazing, BC Swim & Dive is lawyered up and ready for action. As BC prepares to defend itself, the Classic has acquired a leaked list of finalists for Boston College’s representatives in the legal battle with Swim & Dive.