Parents Weakened? Yeah, My Parents Were Weakened By The 2008 Recession!
Big IssuesCampus Culture September 29, 2022
Hessian and her family were drastically affected by the housing crisis of the late 2010s. Her father, a sketchy mortgage lender, was allegedly responsible for the utter decimation of housing prices in the New York City suburban area.
Read moreGoodbye, Potatoes: BC Dining Gets Rid Of The One Thing Students Like
Big IssuesWTF September 14, 2022
Brak’fousst is not alone. Increasing fury continues to spread among students as their staple breakfast item is M.I.A. But for a measly 2-3 times the past month, the crispy little nugs were replaced by other variations of fried potatoes.
Read moreLocal Student Under International Investigation Following Incriminating “Slay Queen” Remarks
Big IssuesFeatured September 8, 2022
Chaos has erupted around the globe since the incredibly recent death of Queen Elizabeth as authorities everywhere scramble to rule out foul play. Although autopsies point to natural causes, one student is struggling to clear her name.
Read moreBaldwin Jr.’s Absence At Saturday’s Game Reveals Links To IRA Faction
Big IssuesWTF September 6, 2022
“A review of Baldwin Jr.’s internet search history broke the news to students that the young eagle harbors sympathy for the paramilitary organization known as the Irish Republican Army, or the IRA.”
Read moreThe Campus Activities Board of Boston College (CAB) made a surprise announcement Monday detailing its plan to cancel Mudstock and replace it with “Soupcrock.” Mudstock, the beloved annual student volleyball tournament, was scheduled for the first week of May.
Read moreMutual Sexiness and Unlikability: Why BC Students Often Marry Each Other
Big IssuesStudent Life April 28, 2022
The implications of BC selective marriage for the future are harrowing. The world as we know it will be filled with a vast amount of men who are 5’8” but definitely 5’10” on their license.
Read moreUh Oh! Your Punta Hookup Just Asked You To Senior Prom At Newton North
Big IssuesNewtonStudent Life March 31, 2022
Barrased continued, “I asked him where he was living, as one does when they meet a fellow Eagle, and when he said ‘I live in Newton,’ I just assumed he had the worst housing pick time known to man!”
Read moreComeau Defends Decision To End Required COVID Testing: “I Was Afraid Of Missing The BTR Reunion Tour”
Big IssuesCoronavirusSex March 1, 2022
Former Fake ID Owners Spend Weekend at Build-a-Bear, Pump It Up
Big IssuesDrinking February 28, 2022
The remaining population of underage juniors have opted for a more dignified and exclusive option: playing in a private room for 2 hours at Pump It Up. Summer B. Irthday (MCAS ’23) explained to The Classic that she is part of the “silent majority” of underage juniors, and repeatedly reiterated that the rug burn on her knees and elbows are “not what you think.”
Read moreUnderage Candidate’s Presidential Campaign In Doubt Following Fake ID Purge
Big IssuesStudent Life February 18, 2022
“Weirdly, John kept on insisting that the birth year on his card be 1986,” said Wead Deeler (CSOM ’25), who organized the fake ID order. “He said he wanted a Pennsylvania ID because ‘they’re easy to fake, and it’s a battleground state.’”
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