JERUSALEM– Well, it’s that time of the year again. Many students have fled campus in hordes, ready to celebrate Holy Week in their hometowns of Just Outside New York, Near Chicago, and Western Mass. And as Easter approaches, that means it’s time for the New England Classic’s annual analysis of the moral character of Pontius Pilate, fifth governor of the Roman Province of Judea. It is our honor to present this year’s “Pontius Pilate: Slay or Nay?”
Slay: Successfully gaslit the entire earth into blaming one man for all their sins.
Nay: Washed his hands without soap after sentencing said man to death.
Slay: Met Jesus and was surprisingly chill about it, didn’t even ask for a photo.
Nay: Has never seen HBO’s The Sopranos.
Slay: Listens to Beach House, but isn’t pretentious about it.
Nay: Will not stop telling you to go on Kairos.
Slay: Frees Barabbas, who might have been a murderer but who are we to judge?
Nay: Calls your mom by her first name even though they’ve met, like, twice.
Slay: Extremely limber, goes to pilates at least twice a week.
Nay: Has a “Coffee until it’s time for wine” wall decoration.
Slay: He likes dogs more than cats.
Nay: He refers to himself as a dog dad and his dog as his “furbaby”.
Slay: Will buy a round for the whole table anytime you go out.
Nay: Cried at the end of Avengers: Endgame.