BC Marble Spillers And Banana Peelers Club Banned From Marathon
CARNEY HALL—While BC is renowned for uplifting and celebrating its student clubs, OSI has placed restrictions on the “Marble Spillers and Banana Peelers” club. From Sunday, 7 P.M. to Monday, 7 P.M., members of the club are not allowed within 20 feet of Commonwealth Avenue.
“It’s a safety risk,” said the group’s OSI representative, Flond Stoump. “We tolerate them—we give them $10,000 a semester to travel abroad to spread silliness—but we have to put our foot down.”
Members of the Marble Spillers and Banana Peelers (MSBP) can be identified by their cargo shorts full of marbles, metal cleats for extra traction, and holsters stocked with bananas.
Sid Phillips, the club’s president and former Toy Story star, spoke on the club’s mission in light of the ban.
“First and foremost, we goof around. Life imitates art, and we here at MSBP believe Looney Tunes is the highest form of human creation,” Phillips then became remarkably emotional.
“It’s our club’s duty to be knuckleheads,” he said through tears. “We all know the joy of watching friends and foes alike slip on a pile of marbles, or cry out ‘my back!’ after a fine tumble on a banana peel. I am disappointed that BC has deprived its community of this. Heartbreak Hill got a lot less slippy this Monday, and it breaks my heart to say so…”
MSBP still has its winter trip to look forward to—each year they fly to Ecuador to stock up on bananas for the school year. Beyond this, they plan to team up with CAB to drop marbles from a helicopter into Alumni Stadium during a game.
“We want it to be a ball pit–of hard, round marbles. It’ll be a chuckle fest for sure,” said Sid on his collaboration with CAB. “I also want to reiterate that our budget is 10,000 dollars. We spend it all, too.”
The New England Classic was granted an exclusive look into MSBP’s budget allocation and can confirm that 90% of the $10,000 went to those silk bags for marble storage.
The student body is furious with BC’s decision to ban MSBP. Geoff Lowdmauff, a participant in this year’s marathon, expressed his frustration, “What’s next? Stopping the Puppy Lovers Club from going to a dog park? I stand with MSBP. I prepared for their shenanigans…and for what?”