Ten Dorm Decorations That Are Absolutely Red Flags
Whether you’re going over to someone’s dorm to seal the deal, work with a classmate on a group project, or you’re an RA who’s about to inform residents that they’ve been suspended by the University — nothing says more about the person living in a room than how they choose to decorate their cinderblock palace. To help you know what’s hot and what’s not, the Classic has put together this list of ten dorm decs which are definitely red flags.
1. A Bunch Of Polaroids From A Single Night
Steer clear of people who fill their wall with photos that were taken on just one night. A wall full of Polaroid photos from one night probably means that they’re the type of person who never texts you, but who swipes up occasionally on your Snapchat story to send flame emojis. Unless you want to associate with someone like that, best to double-check the timestamps on their wall photos.
2. A Barstool Sports “Saturdays Are For The Boys” Flag
The cash price of this decoration is $30 plus shipping, but the real price includes the hefty cost of revealing yourself to be a major loser. Nothing else quite screams “stay away” like this. Bonus points if it’s being held up by Scotch tape.
3. An Empty Cage
There is a loose animal in the room. Check the closet, peek under the bed, and look behind you. Better hope it’s not hungry for someone sexy, or you’re a goner 😉
4. Any Quentin Tarantino Movie Poster
We were gonna go with “Pulp Fiction Movie Poster” for this one, but we figured, why stop there? Whether it’s Reservoir Dogs, Inglorious Basterds, Jackie Brown, or any other Tarantino movie poster hanging from the wall, there’s one guarantee: the person who owns that wall has boring-ass sex.
5. A Picture of Your Grandma
No, not their grandma. Your grandma. Esther.
If someone has an aquarium filled exclusively with clams, maybe it’s wise to think this one over again. Who knows what it could mean.
7. A New Jersey State Flag
If they’re from the Garden State and are proud of it, get the fuck out of there. Any further contact with this person will lead to indescribably painful conversations about topics including, and largely limited to, New York City.
8. An Actual Red Flag
Aha, haha, ha.
9. An Ant Farm
If someone owns an ant farm, there’s a good chance they’re going to ask you, “Hey, you wanna see my ant farm?” Have you ever thought about what you might say in response to a question like that? I sure as fuck have not. Nightmare scenario.
10. An A.N.T. Farm Poster
This show is a Victorious rip-off. It also aired post-2010 on Disney Channel. The person who owns this poster is either unoriginal, weird, or both. Stanning China Anne McClain separately is okay, though.