REPORT: Thomas More Apartments Is Called That Because It Has More Thomases Than Any Other Building On Campus
THOMAS MORE APARTMENTS — Student Services released a report last Thursday, informing the Boston College community that the Thomas More Apartment Complex is so named because it has more Thomases per capita than any other building on campus. According to school officials, this report will hopefully dispel any notion that the building is named after venerated Renaissance saint, Sir Thomas More.
Professors and students across campus were reportedly shocked by the news. Tom Fenton (CSOM ‘19), resident of the Thomas More Apartments, went on the record, saying, “I guess I’m just surprised, more than anything. For so long, I’ve believed my home was named to honor my favorite Lord High Chancellor of England in the 16th century… but I guess not.”
“It really shows who you can and can’t trust,” Fenton later added.
Not all Boston College Thomases are disappointed by the news, however. Tommy Johnson (MCAS ‘19), also a resident of Thomas More Apartments, cited his relief at the news. “I mean, I always kinda suspected,” he said in an interview last Friday. “It’s like every single door has a few RA decorations on it that say ‘Thomas This’ and ‘Thomas That.’ It seems like the administration is finally coming clean on this whole conspiracy.”
Since releasing the report, the Boston College administration has apologized for the confusion caused by the ambiguous nomenclature. “It was never our intention to invoke a sense of Catholicism in any way, shape, or form,” one administrator admitted in a later memo. “In fact, Boston College is seeking to distance itself from its Catholic roots as much as possible.”
At press time, Boston College admissions counselors were seen approving as many Thomas-based housing applications as they could.