Students Gear Up To Do Exact Same Thing With Exact Same People In Different Country
NOT BOSTON COLLEGE — While hustling and bustling around campus and cramming in last-minute studying for midterms, hundreds of Boston College students collectively expressed their excitement to spend their impending spring break doing the exact same things with the exact same people, but in a different country.
Students have already made great preparations for their journey, which will literally recreate their small social bubble, just in a foreign country. The students in question have spent thousands of dollars on swimsuits, deluxe resort packages, and plane tickets to transport their immediate friends and a few secondhand acquaintances from Mary Ann’s to beaches in Punta Cana and Aruba.
“I can’t wait for a relaxing week away in a country I’ve never been to. It’s bound to be such a unique experience,” said senior Joe McFlaherty (MCAS ‘19), who, later this week, will stroll down the beach as if he were walking through the Mods on a sunny afternoon.
Boston College students do not plan to merely contain their social bubbles within the confines of their luxury resorts, however. Instead, many have plans to explore the foreign countries that they’re visiting: “Next Tuesday, I’m going on a nature tour with my friend Jessica from my accounting class,” said senior Maggie Abrams (CSOM ‘19), who reportedly plans on staying as far away from the locals as possible. “And, on Wednesday or Thursday night, my study group from my feminism class is all going out to a local seafood restaurant. Talk about a cultural experience!”
At press time, other students were preparing to do the same boring shit they do with the same boring people in the same fucking house they grew up in — but their dogs are at home too, which is pretty tight.